They say patience is a virtue. So perhaps the lack of is a bit of a curse.
I really thought I was going to feel worlds better by now, and be able to learn easier, remember easier and get up and GO easier.
Nothing is easy. I should know this after 45 years of life. But I seriously had myself fooled into believing that after just a couple months of “taking care of myself” I would feel better.
Don’t get me wrong, I DO feel better for the most part. I’m not achy and fatigued at the end of the day, and I have far less headaches. Perhaps I don’t struggle with executive function quite as much, but some days yes.
Some of the tools that have helped me?
Making a list; and checking it twice 😉 ok, but for real. I get up early, I’m creating new habits. I spend some time in prayer, devotion, and journaling. I scroll social media for a few moments…like, I actually set a timer and only allow myself about 15 minutes. I read more. SO much more, I feel like I’m a sponge and I just want to soak in ALL the information I can right now. Podcasts have become quite the love as well. I’m currently saving up for some nice headphones so I can listen even more.
I’ve been scheduling myself to Show Up More. For myself, my family and my community. I’m just trying to get to more events, outings and such. Being away in the evening hours is an adjustment, but I am learning to make it work with what I have in regards to Matthias. I don’t have much of a support system as far as someone to watch him, and since we homeschool He is with me All. Day. Long! Don’t get me wrong, Matthias is amazingly cool, he’s energetic, literal, SO full of life and I want to bottle that up and feed it to myself some days. But…He’s also; energetic, literal and SO full of life, and it’s more energy and life than I have the capacity to parent well and the day goes to chaos.
Anyway, back to those tools. I keep a calendar. A good ole fashioned paper calendar. I often try to update the google calendar, but my heart lyes in pen and paper. (well, pencil because it’s ever changing)
I’ve been (not so successfully) trying to develop a habit on Sundays where Phil and Matthias (and if any other boys want to join) will sit down and intentionally plan out some meal ideas for the week. They don’t have to have assigned days, but atleast if I have an idea of what these people want to eat, I can plan accordingly. Some days my whole mind is consumed with what to freaking make for dinner. Having a list to go to helps immensely!
Vitamins. I’m taking my dang supplements. I’ve missed only 2 times since I began this regimen about 2 months ago. I’m definitely calling that a win!
I’m putting in the effort to get dressed every day, do my hair and makeup (if you knew me before….I could care less…lol) And all this isn’t to look good outwardly for anyone else, but the feel good inwardly for myself. When I do better, I feel better!
Grace. giving myself grace. I mean, I’m trying to give myself grace. I’m learning that confidence is not something we are born with, and even IF it was fed to you your entire life (which is not the case for me) It’s most accurately a learned, or taught thing. So, there is that. I am teaching myself to be confident. Borrowed confidence is what I’m calling it, and I’ll save up every nugget I earn myself until I have enough to walk in my own.